I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
