I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.