My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
