i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
