Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
