I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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