Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
