my vag is so smooth its legendary
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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