In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His hands were made for my vagina.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
