He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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