that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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