i barfeds in our rink
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
