yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
