SEEEEXXX PLEASE
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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