I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
