fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize