Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
