Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
