some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
