i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
