happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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