My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
