just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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