chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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