i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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