The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
