some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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