After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
