I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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