Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
