I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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