You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
