high people should be assigned attendants
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
