Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
