I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Barsexuality is the new black.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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