she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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