I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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