summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
