Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
