What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
