it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
