Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
3 2 1 whiskey
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
