I love black thongs
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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