I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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