my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
