We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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