I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You're a waste of cheezeits
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
