You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
