the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
soo... how was my night?
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