New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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