I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Alive.
So much puke
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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