I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
