"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
