I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
