if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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