He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
