..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
did i just pee glitter
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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