Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
